The definitive way to know your date is a douchebag...

Imagine you're out on a date with a guy who's really great. Good conversationalist, nice guy, probably funny.

Then you get to the restaurant where he unbuttons his coat to reveal an Ed Hardy tee. It's pretty shocking. He doesn't have spiky hair or a raised truck. So you tell yourself that you can "educate" him in the ways of fashion. He seems open-minded enough, after all.

After making sure that you don't know anyone in the restaurant that could out you for being on a date with Ed Hardy guy, you decide to put it out of your mind and you end up having a great time.

One thing leads to another, you end up back at his place drinking way too much wine. Your head is a little woozy, you're carried away by the evening, he leads you to his bedroom.

The light flickers on and you see THIS:

Amy Winehouse

Harsh!



Damn girl, eat food, not drugs!

A Letter To Rufus

Dear Rufus Humphrey (from Gossip Girl) -

I chose to look the other way when you wore your leather tied-on chokers (sometimes doubled up). I plugged my ears whenever "Lincoln Hawk" played one of your throaty Goo Goo Dolls-esque rock ballads. I even tried to see the silver lining in your penchant for denim shirts.

And I did this all because you're a hot older man and I love me a hot older man. And I can overlook a lot of style faux pas on a hot older man.

But that chunky knit turtleneck sweater tonight? Now you're really asking too much.

Please hire a new stylist or I may even start to find your douchey, boring, self-righteous son handsome.

XOXO,
Sugar Grams

Even Worse Than The Ubiquitous Hip Hop Prop... AKA Yuck Barf

This is totally not even relevant aka irrelevant, but this new form of irony, in terms of fashion combined with music, is just too much - I've been seeing this trend around NYC for the past year and it's really starting to annoy me - like a lot. And could their name be anymore generic? RETRO KIDZ?? It's not even clever, funny, typical or whatever. It's all dumb - they're dumb, their sound is dumb, they dress dumb, their name is dumb. I hope they never get a record deal, especially based on the idea of how they scour eBay for "retro, rare, hard to find, one of a kind, indie, hipster" clothes that their parents probably didn't even wear. Whatever.

Retro Kids seen above surrounding Fab 5 Freddie

Listen and look for yourselves... I dare you to see how long you can look at their page - Retro Kidz

Retro Kidz are trying like hell to be the new forms of Kool Moe Dee, Bobby Brown circa New Edition, Fresh Prince, Fab 5 Freddy, Spike Lee's *Do The Right Thing*, etc., blah blah you get the point, I know, it's fucking lame.

*Update, I just was told by someone that one of the kids nicknames in the group is "Do The Right Thing" and also goes by Mookie, which ironically is the name of Spike Lee's character in the same movie. AHHHHHH....

Always held the thought about fashion is that you need to be one step ahead or four steps behind, but this crap is just boring and maybe it's my fault for even shedding light on them. We think "hipsters" are bad, wait til this trend catches on across the world again. Hopefully it doesn't.

the ubiquitous hip hop prop; track 1

For those of you keen on hip hop these days, particularly that of the cheesy varietals, perhaps you’ve noticed a flurry of accessorizing. It seems that years ago every time I come around yo city, “bling bling” was the only accessory we’d see these hip hoppers wearing. Crossing the line at the time would mean wearing bling in your teeth. However, these days, hip hop accessories have expanded into some other level s***. Omnipresent in music videos, stage performances, interviews and frankly, ornamenting their every day lives, now hip hop accessories have become outright PROPS!

This is the first entry for a recurring column at MARF, which touches a soft spot in my heart. Although the ladies have some amazing props of their own, we’ll keep to the theme of the blog and focus on the straight male hip hopper and his props. Hip hoppers on the Down Low are fair game.

Behold, members of the famed Three Six Mafia. I thought I’d begin with the amazing bracelets these two wear on the daily, straight out of a He-Man cartoon. However, after watching their new video for “That’s Right, " to my delight I see homeboy dancing around the video waving an empty gasoline can. Man he looks hard! I suppose winning an Oscar has gone way to these boys’ heads. Seriously homey, don’t play that.

adbusters on hipsters

the cover story of the current issue of adbusters is called: "hipster: the dead end of western civilization." there's all sorts of potential for an adbusters article about contemporary hipsterism (and trendiness in general) to be awesome; unfortunately, the article they ended up with is kind of sucky.

i can't put it any better than they did over at the spanish rice, so i won't even try.

And yet, once you look past the headline, you notice that the article suffers from exactly the superficiality it seeks to “expose”: a fixation on appearances and surface, arty party photographs, and utterly substance-free and pseudo-revolutionary rhetoric.

hard to say!

please welcome the great new site hipster or gay to the internet.